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I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.
Hey there WhatsApp, is using me.
Girls use photoshop to look beautiful. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.
You can never buy Love… But still, you must pay for it…
Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?
I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!
My biggest concern in life is how my online friends can be informed of my death…
Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.
Save water – Drink beer!
Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software… it’s called Monday, please fix it.
Always wear cute pajamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams.
God is creative; I mean just look at me 😛
I decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.
When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be ‘I left one million dollars in the…’
I wake up when I can’t hold my pee in any longer.
My father always told me, find a job you love, and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.
Life is too short a smile while you still have teeth…
My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
I’m jealous of my parents… I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs!
Here my dad comes on WhatsApp… From now on my status would be ‘no status‘ or just a smiley…
Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind, but the neighbors are not.
Friends are forever until they get in a relationship 😛
C.L.A.S.S – Come late and start sleeping 🙂
People who exercise live longer, but what’s the point when those extra years are spent at the gym.
Relationship Status: Looking for a FREE Wi-Fi connection.
It may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food to eat later.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook 😀
Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL
This is the beginning of the sentence you just finished reading.
Wow, now I’m a graduate… Now thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees without brains.
I and my wife I lived happily for 25 years and then we met…
Good Morning Let the stress begin…
Don’t settle for good. Demand Great!
Hakuna Matata – The great motto to live life!
Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.
Eat – Sleep – Regret – Repeat.
Sometimes i just wish i’ could fast forward the time to see if in the end it’s all worth it.
People are like music some say the truth and rest, just noise.
We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die.
It’s not how tragically we suffer but how miraculously we live.
Dream as if you’ll live forever… Live as if tomorrow is the last one.
Always remember you are UNIQUE – Just like everybody else.
You don’t have to like me… I am not a Facebook status.
The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude.
Don’t be too optimistic. The light at the end of the tunnel may be another train.
At last got to know how to lose weight in 10 days: Just turn your head right then left and repeat whenever offered any food 🙂
Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing the pen drive safely.
WhatsApp status is loading…
Think about it …every time we look back at ourselves five years ago we think we were an idiot.
Happiness is when ‘Last seen at’ changes to ‘Online’ and then to ‘Typing…’
I was not busy to be online… I had just given up on my life when I picked up this girls phone and saw my contact name as ‘Free Recharge’
I Am Not Special; I Am Just Limited Edition!
I’m looking for a bank loan which can perform two things. Give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
Math Rule: If it seems easy, you’re doing it wrong.
They say we learn from our mistakes. So, I’m making as many as possible! Soon I will be a genius
Waiting for Wi-Fi Network…
Sleep till you’re hungry… Eat till you’re sleepy.
There are 3 types of people in the world- vegetarian, non-vegetarian and Tuesday / Saturday
Coins always make sound, but the currency notes are always silent! that’s why I’m always calm and silent…
One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry.
Second chances are for losers, either we do it in first place or live it for others.
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before police
One wise guy invented mobile application WhatsApp and his wife added last seen feature…
Don’t be happy. I don’t Really forgive people; I just pretend like it’s ok and wait for my turn to destroy them.
Jealousy = I care about you.
Once a cheater always a repeater…
FACT: Every piece of plastic ever made still exists. Say no to Plastic.
I want to be nice, but some people are so annoying.
I’m so poor… I can’t even pay attention
I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them…
It’s cute when your crush’s crush is our 😉
People say you can’t live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.
if your dog barks and enemies laugh take it seriously.
Vegetarians, if you want animals to live, why do you eat their food.
I will marry the girl, who looks pretty in her Aadhar Card.
Teamwork is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
After marriage, the other man’s wife looks more beautiful.
Act crazy, don’t regret, do things you would never ever do because life is short so live it up! 🙂
I will kill you with my awesomeness…
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
The best way to lie is, to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.
I shouldn’t have to earn your time or attention, you should want to give it!
Remember how you treated me so when I treat you like that you can understand why!
Silence doesn’t always mean you’re mad… sometimes it just means you have nothing to say.
I’m so awesome that I wish I could be you, just so I could hang out with me!
That awkward moment when the awkward moment gets even more awkward!
Totally available! Please disturb me…
Nothing is lost until mom can’t find it.
Why is it so easy to fall asleep in class than in bed.
Single doesn’t always mean available…
Silence is the loudest words you can speak sometimes when you want to be heard more.
I am crazy and hyper but that is 2 reasons why I am lovable.
the best one-night stand is masturbation…you get to play with p#%^y and don’t have explain why later…lol
When I’m good, I’m very good and when I’m bad, I’m sensational!
I can only bottle so much inside, and right now, I’ve got more bottled up than a Coca-Cola factory.